02May

Scandal at Old Vaticanians

Imagine a venerable school of impeccable pedigree whose alumni are second to none. We might call it…Old Vaticanians! Since its foundation, generations before, the central aim of the school has been to instruct pupils in strict accordance with the vision of its founding father, Mr. Logos, whose understanding of education has never been surpassed and whose curriculum guarantees success but only if adhered to faithfully.

For many years the masters of Old Vaticanians faithfully did as they were instructed which helped forge an impeccable reputation for the school as a centre for excellence. Headmasters came and went, some more inspiring than others, but all stuck to the curriculum in the main. The school went from strength to strength and Old Vaticanians, the world over, were respected as outstanding citizens being formed in the image of Mr. Logos.

Not that it was all plain sailing. Teachers are fallible after all! So scandals arose. Once the infamous Mr. Luther stormed out of the staffroom and set up a rival school down the road! It caused much confusion. Then there was naughty Mr. Alexander whose moral lapses were legend. That caused quite the stir, naturally, and he is not remembered fondly but he did, at least, respect the curriculum enough to guard it from error.

Back to the present day and the biggest scandal of all rocks the school to its foundation. It started with a major modernisation of the school buildings in the 1960’s. A project which has ever proved somwhat controversial because the instructions from the architects were largely ignored and people just did their own thing. The end result being that Old Vaticanians today looks a bit too much like Luther’s establishment down the road.

The renovation of school would not have been catastrophic save for the strange effect it undoubtedly had on the teachers. Many of them foolishly imagined that a new looking school meant they could dispense with the ideology and curriculum of their founder Mr. Logos. Bit by bit they undermined all that had gone before, striving to replace the old ways with a trendy new curriculum inspired by Mr. Luther’s new school and the fallen standards of the world around them.

So that today many of the teachers now refuse to wear academic gowns and are totally indifferent to the founding principles of of Mr. Logos, especially in matters of moral conduct. Yes the staff and pupils have grown ill disciplined and academic standards are at an all time low. Not many of pupils leaving the school today shine with the light and virtue of those who went before them.

It gets worse for it transpires that the worst of these renegade teachers had the temerity to pick up salaries despite secretly abusing the pupils in their care. Yes many of the current staff live double lives and struggle with honesty and purity. The problem compounded in that the majority of these rotters are amongst the senior not junior staff. The faithful old head, Mr Benedictus, was broken by this news a few years back. He took early retirement and a successor, Mr. Argentinus, was appointed.

Tomorrow we will look at how Mr. Argentinius is handling the crisis at Old Vaticanians and ask if there is hope for the dear old school that is beloved by so many despite its ongoing problems…

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1 thought on “Scandal at Old Vaticanians

  1. You forgot to mention that before Mr. Luther there was the row with Mr. Byzantium who walked off with half the faculty and occupied the eastern half of the campus!

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